It’s the first day back to reality after a long holiday break, the chaos of Christmas, travel to visit family and a cold that knocked my socks off so badly I’m six days in and, although markedly improved over days 1 and 2, still in need of afternoon naps and my ever-present box of Kleenex. The boys were both surprisingly easy to wake and emerged bright eyed and focused this morning. This was partially due to my get them up early yesterday and systematically wear them out all day so they’d go to bed early plan, but I think they were just as eager to be rid of me as I was of them. I love my kids, but two-plus weeks of non-stop together time is a lot even with the cousin time, parties and play dates.
It was with great anticipation and eagerness that I, too, sat down at my computer a half hour ago. The last few nights, while drifting off to stuffy-nosed dream land, I’ve been hit with scene inspiration. Fully formed somethings that were too good not to sit back up, turn the light on and jot down as quickly as possible so I didn’t lose them overnight. I naively assumed that was an indicator of a prose back-up in my system that just needed fingertips to keyboard and an empty house to let loose. Until I sat down. And I realized how early 6:15 was this morning, how noisy the dishwasher seems today, how fascinating twitter is after a break, how long my to-do list is, how quiet it is (noisy dishwasher notwithstanding) without my boys here.
The boys are my constant companions. My entertainment. My annoying coworkers. They are the distractions and inspirations of my day-to-day life. The night before any holiday break finds me anxious and nervous about how I’ll make it through so many days that need to be filled with play time and movement and food and activity with nary a moment of quiet to myself. Strangely, the night before any break’s end finds me anxious and nervous about how I’ll make it through the day without them and their silly jokes, cacophony of laughter and disputes to be refereed.
Today, I’m easing back into my own independence. It’s short-lived as preschool pick-up looms at noon, but here it is. I’m hoping that my fingers have warmed back up and will soon provide me the words I need for the work-in-progress. I’m eager to jump into a New Year with some goals that are broken out into achievable tasks with realistic (I hope) deadlines that have excited me about what’s possible in 2015. I’m shored up by happy Christmas memories and appreciative of the alone time I haven’t seen outside a 10 minute shower in the last two weeks. I’m ignoring the mess, the dust on the desk from weeks of non-use and the lure of organization projects and trying to remind my mind that this time is mine, ours, the page’s.
Here’s to 2015! May the best be yet to come.