NaNoWriMo Pre-Update: Under Pressure

I am starting to panic.

My throat is tightening at the thought.
And yet every day. There it is. One day closer.
Holy cow, what was I thinking committing to Nanowrimo? Really? Why hasn’t anyone tried to talk me out of this? Instead, you’ve all been so blindly supportive that I thought, no problem. I GOT this.
Now? With only 6 days separating me from November 1st? Freaking out a little bit.
In all honesty, I’m not totally clear what I want to write. Probably not a good sign, huh? I have some characters in mind. I have a general premise. But plot? In need of one. Background? Might be nice to have one. Setting? Cluelessville.
And so I’ve started to panic.
I really don’t know what’s going to happen in November with this self-imposed challenge to bang out 50,000 words in a month. I’m not sure how to physically fit it in considering the challenge starts during one trip and ends shortly after another. I have no idea where to start. And instead of being proactive and seeking out advice, getting some research done or jotting down some outlines and ideas, I’ve been focusing on Halloween and trip preparations, cleaning out my closets and organizing the desk.
I have to admit, part of me is enjoying the panic and is excited by it. I’m curious to see what will happen. Will I sink or swim? Will magic happen? Will it be completely painful every minute? Will I finish? The fact is, I haven’t done this before and the whole point of this exaggerated exercise is to force myself to find out what it’s like, where my weaknesses are, how I work, what my process is.
And the other part of me is screaming into a pillow: WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?!
So thank you for all your encouragement and support both here and in person. It means a lot to me, your unconditional faith. I will try not to let you down. I will try not to let myself down. Let’s just say, at this point, I will TRY.
Now where did that pillow get to?

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