After two days of 5:30AM wake ups, thanks to the time change, peanut actually slept until 7:15 yesterday morning. The hubby was already up, I was awake, but still in bed after a night of inconsistent, intense, almost more than Braxton-Hicks contractions. Peanut came running in our room, scurried onto the bed and burrowed next to me pulling the covers up to his chin. His eyes still sleepy, his breath stale from sleep, his arms warm around my neck as he buried his head into my shoulder. We called for the hubby and snuggled in for a few sweet, satisfying moments as our little family of three.
We decided with the midwife this week that if pumpkin doesn’t make an appearance before, we will be induced on Thursday. It’s strange to be so ready for pumpkin to arrive and yet be suddenly so apprehensive knowing the time I have with my little peanut is limited.
As much as his being sick recently has been a worry and a stress, it’s also been a selfishly satisfying time for mama. He’s been much more snugly and needy in an emotional way than he has in a long time. We had great fun reading stories and watching videos while he cuddled in my lap, or at least what’s left of it. There was something sweet and reminiscent of his infant days knowing that sometimes, when he is tired and cranky and not feeling well, he just needs to be held by his mama to feel comfort.
Now that he’s better and back to his old, active ways, I feel like I should take him to the zoo or the children’s museum or the park to spend some good quality time with him before pumpkin’s arrival. Unfortunately, every day past my due date has been exponentially more uncomfortable making it difficult to get to the bathroom, which is a necessity with an 8lb bowling ball sitting on my bladder, not to mention a full circuit of the zoo chasing a three year old, which I would define as “optional.” Add in the anxiety of suddenly KNOWING labor is around the corner and wondering if I am really prepared for this time around. Add in the attempt to sort of straighten up the house before Grandma and Grandpa arrive this afternoon. Add in my hormonal roller coaster…
Instead of feeling guilty for what I can’t do, I’m relishing in the small moments. The cuddle in the playroom chair discussing what peanut thinks pumpkin will look like. The rest on the bench in the park watching the leaves fall from the trees as peanut tries to guess which color leaf will reach the ground first. The silly moments that abound with this kid around (“I think he’s going to be a lizard baby;” “Do you have issues, mommy?” “I can’t bend over, daddy, pumpkin’s in my belly;” “I wish I could be a teacher after I’m a truck after I’m a doctor…”). The jokes he’s been making up that make absolutely no sense but send him into fits of laughter. The spontaneous hugs when he can see that I’m struggling.
As much as I’m looking forward to finally meeting and holding this little fellow who is currently causing me such physical angst, I’m almost more excited about the moment peanut meets him and our little family of three truly becomes a family of four.
And it looks like that moment is finally going to be upon us in the next 24 to 48 hours. Wish us luck!