I Have Angered the Air Conditioning Gods (Update)

Oh how haughty I was last week to comment on the heat. Oh how reckless to laugh in the face of it and spend yesterday mid-day at a local street festival with some friends. Oh how silly to congratulate my sister on her repaired air conditioning unit. Oh how naive to secretly be happy it was (a few degrees) hotter back “home” in NC than here in Atlanta.

Oh how very, very, very wrong of me.

Oh gods of the working air conditioner, I beg your forgiveness. Oh gods of the heat wave, I respect your power. I sweat in your presence and am thirsty at the mere mention of your name.

Please, gods of the working air conditioner and heat wave, please oh please oh please make these repairmen call me back. I’ve checked my phone like a love-sick teenager 18 times in the last hour and a half. Why haven’t they called me? Where are they? Please don’t let them stand me up. I know I’m sweaty and probably could use another application of deodorant, but I’m a good catch. I’m a sure thing today. Whatever you want to do to my AC, please, do it. I’ll write a check, hand over my credit cards, whatever it takes. Please, just come to my sauna of a house and FIX. MY. AIR. CONDITIONING!

Please?

Pretty please?

I’ve already been to Target. I even went bra shopping (for the record, I would rather try on bathing suits and jeans than bras). I even went to the shoe store to just try shoes on in an attempt to make myself feel better. It almost worked. (My downfall was saying I’d just try on the expensive ones to see how they looked and now I covet them. Oh, shoe gods, that is another post for another day entirely. And don’t worry hubby, they aren’t in the closet, they are still at the store.).

Somehow peanut is sleeping (maybe because he’s nearly naked and I have nearly every fan in the house blowing on him or maybe because he didn’t take a nap yesterday at all). But I can feel the temperature rising in the house. I am already thinking that ice cream would be a perfectly acceptable dinner.

So please, gods of the working air conditioner and heat wave, I will do whatever penance you require. I will keep your thermostat at a respectable, eco-friendly temperature (when you are finally working). I will make replacing our painted-shut, metal, inefficient windows my single-most priority. I will tell anyone who will listen of your awesome power to make everyone in our house cranky.

Just please call me, AC man? Please.

Update: They FINALLY arrived at 4:30. Luckily, it was a quick fix. Some capacitor something “exploded” (but more like a Coke can that explodes internally so the can looks all distended and you just know you shouldn’t open it). Anyway, he popped on a new one, we went out to dinner and by the time we got back, it was getting comfortable in the house. By the time I woke up this morning, I was nearly chilly. Thank goodness. We hit a record high yesterday. Figures.

Stay cool out there.

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